23 August 2011

Fear and loathing at Greenman

They had two bags of grass organic romaine hearts, seventy-five pellets of mescaline ml of aged balsamic dressing, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid packs of cherubino cherry vine tomatoes, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine oak-smoked salt, and a whole galaxy of multi-coloured uppers, downers, screamers and laughers dried herbs and spices; also, a quart of tequila raspberry & guava juice, a quart of rum kiwi, apple & lime smoothie, a case of beer assorted new world Sauvignon Blancs, a pint haunch of raw ether venison, and two dozen amyls Gloucestershire old spot pork sausages.

Holy Jesus. Who were these goddamn animals?

Somewhere, Andy Pandy's lifeless body lies naked in a nettle-filled ditch.

... and then everyone went home to watch The Great British Bake Off.

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